I had a lot of tears on the way home, and then I talked with Phil, my sister, and my mom, and they were all so supportive of me. They all helped me recognize that I have had too much on my plate since returning to work, knowing that I will be full time in about a month, and trying to drop off the boys in two different places each morning. In addition to all that, on my work days, instead of eating lunch with the teachers, I've rushed to feed Jack, then I've hurried back to school. I've missed the friendships of my colleagues and the strain of this arrangement has taken its toll. I decided that the doctor was right.
Today, my confidence has grown in my decision as I watched Jack go 3 hours (!) between feedings with the bottle. Not only that, but I realized no longer will I have to schedule my entire day around his feedings, or plan to be home by a certain time when I've gone out for a bit. I can pick to wear any kind of clothes, including dresses, that I want and they won't look wrinkled from pulling them up all day. Phil realized the best thing of all; we can go out of town for a weekend without children sooner than when Jack turns one. I think it's going to be alright and I'm looking forward to meeting with my new doctor next week to figure out what to do next.