Good-Bye

I can't believe that today is the day that I have to say goodbye.  My heart is heavy, my chest aches, and my eyes are red.  I am saying goodbye to my friend, my sister-in-law, my ally against the unstoppable, steam rolling Ogden brothers.  You were someone who cared about ombre nails, trends on Pinterest, clothes, shopping, and crafts and I so enjoyed that we could talk about and do these things together.  I loved watching you become a mom for the first time.  I prayed for you and Carolina and were so relieved when you were both home and healthy.  I enjoyed sewing with you at Morro Bay and teaching you how to make your first blanket.  I loved getting iced tea at Starbucks with you and talking about endless amounts of things.  I wish I could hear your devious laugh or one of your quick witted comebacks again.  I will miss our vacations together and our phone conversations about life.  I mourn the life that you are leaving so soon.  I love your daughters from the bottom of my heart and I am filled with such all consuming sadness at the fact that you will not be able to raise them.  My heart breaks for Doug that he will be on this journey without you.  I just can't believe this day has come.  And as my friend Davi said, we cling to this life that offers so much pain and sadness.  But we also fear the unknown.  No longer do you Vanessa, as today you are fully healed and free from the suffering you were enduring.  You understand in ways that we don't why this has happened.  Vanessa, you are loved and you will be deeply missed.